Monday, May 13, 2013
It only takes one...
...bad experience to derail someone from a goal, regardless of whether it's fitness related or not. I admit I have quit exercising several times before just due to lack of personal motivation. However, the last time I quit had several factors.
The one that stands out the most is that one person in particular took it upon herself to make me feel like crap because I wasn't working out when she thought I should be working out. Keep in mind at the time, I was adjusting to a something new at work, the person I was supposed to be working out with was injured, and my mom was still here. So my time was a bit more limited than usual, and that particular day I was already tired. So when this person asked if I was going to the gym, I said maybe later. The last thing I need was her sarcastic "uh-huh," implying that I was lying. Honestly, if that was the only way she could think of to motivate me, it backfired in a big way.
Another thing which usually holds me back is that I don't like gyms. I understand that about 60% of people go to seriously work out. It's the other 40% that tick me off. The ones that go just to chit chat, or to walk around and look "fit." Let me clarify: they don't look fit, they just look like jackasses. Why? Because they are basically saying "Look at me, I look better than you," and most of the time it's not even true. To me it's already stressful going to the gym due to previously mentioned body issues, I don't need some peacock prancing around making me feel worse.
Yet another thing is the lack of desire to adjust my diet. I don't particularly care for veggies (other than broccoli, potatoes, corn, and basically the ones that don't really count) and I usually will pick convenience over health. I have slowly started changing that. Today I am proud to announce I haven't had any sort of take out food since last Thursday. I've had cereal or Jimmy Dean's biscuits for breakfast, a sandwich or homemade meal for lunch and dinner. This is a big step for me!
The last thing is one of the biggest things that hold me back: the fact that I find it harder to work out alone. I would rather work out with someone else because it makes me work harder and push myself further; it has nothing to do with the other person, other than that their presence makes me show up and work. However, the last time it didn't work out. The person I was supposed to be working out with injured herself, and she already has issues of her own. A few weeks after the injury I asked how the working out was going, and it did not end well. I have another friend that I sometimes go cycling with, who is usually in better shape than me, and his mocking also doesn't help. Stuff like this makes me want to give up.
I am not going to though, because this is about me, and getting to where I need to be to be HAPPY. I think a lot of my issues would be resolved if I could learn to accept my body, and right now I am just not at a point where I can. Learning to love myself is a process, and it's going to take time.
The one that stands out the most is that one person in particular took it upon herself to make me feel like crap because I wasn't working out when she thought I should be working out. Keep in mind at the time, I was adjusting to a something new at work, the person I was supposed to be working out with was injured, and my mom was still here. So my time was a bit more limited than usual, and that particular day I was already tired. So when this person asked if I was going to the gym, I said maybe later. The last thing I need was her sarcastic "uh-huh," implying that I was lying. Honestly, if that was the only way she could think of to motivate me, it backfired in a big way.
Another thing which usually holds me back is that I don't like gyms. I understand that about 60% of people go to seriously work out. It's the other 40% that tick me off. The ones that go just to chit chat, or to walk around and look "fit." Let me clarify: they don't look fit, they just look like jackasses. Why? Because they are basically saying "Look at me, I look better than you," and most of the time it's not even true. To me it's already stressful going to the gym due to previously mentioned body issues, I don't need some peacock prancing around making me feel worse.
Yet another thing is the lack of desire to adjust my diet. I don't particularly care for veggies (other than broccoli, potatoes, corn, and basically the ones that don't really count) and I usually will pick convenience over health. I have slowly started changing that. Today I am proud to announce I haven't had any sort of take out food since last Thursday. I've had cereal or Jimmy Dean's biscuits for breakfast, a sandwich or homemade meal for lunch and dinner. This is a big step for me!
The last thing is one of the biggest things that hold me back: the fact that I find it harder to work out alone. I would rather work out with someone else because it makes me work harder and push myself further; it has nothing to do with the other person, other than that their presence makes me show up and work. However, the last time it didn't work out. The person I was supposed to be working out with injured herself, and she already has issues of her own. A few weeks after the injury I asked how the working out was going, and it did not end well. I have another friend that I sometimes go cycling with, who is usually in better shape than me, and his mocking also doesn't help. Stuff like this makes me want to give up.
I am not going to though, because this is about me, and getting to where I need to be to be HAPPY. I think a lot of my issues would be resolved if I could learn to accept my body, and right now I am just not at a point where I can. Learning to love myself is a process, and it's going to take time.
Wednesday, May 8, 2013
And so it begins....again.
I am trying again. I'm starting off with modifying what I eat first. First big change: Breakfast. We'll see how it works out.
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